College essay
For my college essay I made many revisions but my most important ones were by far my vocabulary and sentence structure improvements. My very first draft had lots of repeating words and did not flow well. The word I chose where very basic and did not draw any attention. I really wanted the words to pop of the page and make people want to read more but that just was not happening. Many of my sentences were long and hard to make sense of and this made what I was trying to say hard to understand. So I had lots of people read my essay and leave comments about what words and sentences they thought could be improved. For my words I went though and found all the repeat words and the words people thought where not very strong and took them to the thesaurus. I found stronger words to replace them with that were still in my vocabulary so that it would still look authentic. For the sentence structure I went through and found run ons and confusing ones and reworded them to make sense.